3 days in, a whole bunch more to go.

3 days in. So much in 3 days. So many kind people that moved all of our crap into a house that has incredibly good vibes. So many friendly people, including the 7/11 clerk who didn't charge me for the ridiculous number of weird items I purchased, it was a "welcome to Austin" gift. So many droplets of sweat, the humidity and heat here is bonkers. I think I've lost a bunch of water weight. So many opportunities to be grateful instead of sad. This has not been an easy move. Every single step, 3 years in preparation, a year of waiting after knowing this would happen, 1844 miles of travel with 2 adults/4kids/dog and cat/and one huge ass Uhaul truck and many thousands of tears, made me really think deeply about this move. I have not sorted it all out. Still so much to do! More to come later.

Whelp, it's official. We have a move date....29 days away. This will be a very quick 29 days. Luckily the house is mostly packed. We will reserve the truck and trailer and start getting the nuts and bolts of things tied up and ready to go. Official notice has been given to work. I'm thinking I need a very large calendar so I can map out what needs to be done. I'm a mixed bag of emotions these days. Mostly sadness and a sense of loss. For someone who spent the better part of two decades moving here and there I suddenly find myself feeling as if home is fading away. Of course I subscribe to the anecdotal, "home is where my family is" but I also feel like home is Reno because that's where we've rounded out our family, where our girls made their first real friends, and where I have my Mom supports (well mostly, there are a few outside of this teeny town). It will be a whirlwind. Only 3.5 more weeks. So I'd better get off here typing and get some crap done. Begrudgingly.

Boxes, boxes, and nary a feeling to be found.

So what do you do when you have the inevitable freak out over the huge life change that you and your family are about to embark on? Well, let's see....1. Cry to your Dr.Mrs.Vicarage mentor, at which point she will bolster you up and let you know that ya it's gonna suck some serious wake, things will be really challenging, but also you will likely do just fine because it's not a whole lot different than the 90 million other life decisions you've made (like having 4 kids in 5 years, because, whoa...like really full stop, whoa.) and you'll have her as a sounding board when you wanna use that alb as a means for strangulation. 2. You call your grandma, because really she knows your heart and knows that you want to be supportive but that you're hurting and are looking for some ego stroking and encouragement, and she's your grandma, your champion and will always support you (which might include hiding a body if necessary, just sayin). and 3. You text with you dearest friend, who although she lives over a thousand miles away can sense that your soul is burdened and heavy and simply reassures you that God, in infinite wisdom, has a plan for this thing called your life.

So after you spend a good long weekend feeling pretty pissed off, guilty, sorry for yourself, contemplative, probably a little on edge you return to everyday life because, CPS, they like it when children can eat and be safe so retreating fully to your bed to binge-watch Seinfeld and Friends isn't really an option. After lots of heavy discussion on callings, discernment, exactly how long is will take to travel 1700 miles with 4 kids, a dog and a cat and what your 'sanity level' might resemble you realize that in the scheme of your life this will be a second and although it's huge, and scary, and you pretty much feel like throwing up most of the time, it will in fact, be alright. Pass the boxes y'all, I've got some packing to do. This time, it's towels and pictures, not my feelings.