One of the most important things in life is to understand commitment. Commitment to yourself, to those you love, and to those who count on you. Now, before anyone gets too kerfluffled, I do not mean always putting your needs behind others. I mean that learning how to leverage commitment in healthy ways. Commitment for me is best represented in the marriage between the Curate and me. We love each other immensely. We are very affectionate. We believe and demonstrate everyday love and kindness to each other and try our best to extend that out to others. BUT SOME DAYS/WEEKS/MONTHS/YEARS we are tired. We are suffering from compassion fatigue but the thing that keeps us going during those times is more than love. It is the commitment to showing up each and every day. Even on those days, you gotta drag your butt out of bed and barely change from your nighttime jammies to your daytime leggings (and somedays those are the same thing) you put in the effort. He knows I am not going to be my best self, I might even be my worst. I know that he is struggling and I need to pick up the slack. It is the commitment that we made formally on April 10, 2010. To be there in good and bad, easy and difficult, and most recently sickness and health.
Anyone who has parented children understands how stressful it is when they are ill. Your entire schedule and plans are upended and the focus shifts. And if you've done this with multiple children you know that the only effective defense is zone. After a while, you learn who is best at what and you move into what you need to be done and you debrief later. Well, as all of you know, we tested this routine and back up routine, and alternate routine over and over these last few weeks.
We are so tired y'all. But I'm so damn fortunate. I chose an amazing partner who digs in and juggles all the things. He knows where to shore up the boat and what to throw over the side. I'm so proud that we have made it through these last few weeks, definitely a little worse for wear, but dang it, commitment and love showed up. This showing up also happened in our various communities. We would not have made it through without you all. We can never fully express our gratitude.
So, for anyone who reads this and is searching for that partner. A good times person is great. A partner who throws in the trenches with you is invaluable and will make the inevitable bad/hard times more tolerable. To the curate, thanks for showing up in love. Everyday. Better times are just around the bend, and if their not, we will face them together.
