767 days down, 267 days to go

We have made it to the VIT's last first day of seminary education. There has been an awful lot of reflection going down on Harris Park Avenue these days. Reflections on the changes in our family, in our lives, in our careers, in our kids, just about every possible change has occurred at some point this last year. We loved. We have lost. We have fought. We have rejoiced. We have adjusted and accommodated. We have pushed back and refused to realign. So many dang changes.

As we prepare for this year, a year of transitions, a year of trusting in the process. A process that changes so much over the course of 3 years but at the exact same time, stays exactly the same. When you first come to seminary, you are in a place of upheaval, excitement, and to some degree sadness. A part of yourself and your family is forever left behind where you came from. You learn about trusting the process and what it has to offer. One thing that becomes apparent is that even if you are fortunate to go back from where you came, you will be changed. So in many ways your formation is transformational. There are many firsts that happen while you are here. If you're the partner, you see the person you prayed for, so fervently, come into the light of that which has been bestowed upon them. You watch them change, and struggle, and learn over and over again of God's grace. It's truly a gift to see them preach for the first time. To watch them serve others. To see their hard work come into fruition for their future.

As we prepare for these last 268 days...let us sit in patience and love as we await the next chapter. Let us continue to feel the prayers and love that come from near and far. Let us enjoy the moments of fellowship with our fellow seminarians and their families. Let us rejoice as people receive their calls. Most importantly, let us continue to rejoice in the times we have as a family, for soon that shall also redefine itself. May all those returning to their seminary work, God bless and keep you. May you feel the sun and know that soon you shall sit on this side of the journey. To the VIT, we couldn't be more proud and look in joyful anticipation of what this next year brings! We love you TTMB JBEND(H)

And Just Like That...3 in school

Today we dropped off our 3rd born PKIT into Kindergarten. She was ready. So very ready to be in school. The two oldest went to their 1st and 2nd grade classrooms and were also ready.

The oldest PKIT did not want Mom or Dad to come into the room with her today, that was a bit rough on the VIT but I was exceedingly proud of her independence and strength. She reminds me so much of myself. She might be treading water under the surface like nobody's business but on the outside, she does what needs doing. And she does it with a sense of confidence that just is. I hope she never loses that. It will be a source of great strength for her. I can't wait to hear how awesome 2nd grade is!

The second oldest PKIT, she was good until it was time for us to leave. She is my sweet sensitive soul. But she did better than I expected. She got teary but used her strategies and was able to focus on the task of writing her name on her new name plate for her seat. She is who I wish I was most often. She is strong but she allows her feelings to come out and is unashamed of them. She deeply understands that sometimes we cry and be sad but we also still move forward. As we were walking in her good friend from Kinder was on his way in, I'm positive that as soon as she saw him, things were all good.

Our newest kinder kiddo, she was ready. Barely skipped a beat and gave a quick hug and was off. She is the perfect balance of the VIT and I. She is fearless but a little shy. I am sure that she will love kindergarten and will be exhausted at the end of today. I'm excited to hear how her first day of 'real school' has gone.

The wee littlest PKIT gets to spend a whole week with Daddy and she couldn't be happier. The VIT has mentioned several times that in the span of 3 years here we have gone from no one in school to 3/4 of kids in school. HALLELUJAH!!!! I am excited for them. They love to learn (like their mama who hasn't every really stopped going to school) and I'm happy they get to do it. On a different note it was interesting to realize that once PKIT 5.0 arrives and gets to kinder we will have a kinder and an 8th grader?!?!?! Send hope, food, and a bottles of wine.

Happy 1st Day of school y'all! Here we go!

A Year in a PhD Program

And just like that I turned in the last assignment of my 1st year's worth of PhD programming. There is a sense of relief as well as a sense of trepidation. About a month ago, after many months of consideration and concern over my lack of motivation to finish my PhD I made the difficult decision to suspend my PhD studies in the coming academic year. When I realized how close I was to beginning the dissertation phase of this program I began realizing that I was not passionate about this path. After much discussion with some of my most trusted friends and mentors I decided to stop doing this thing. As a wise and wonderful friend said, "PhD's are too awful to do them on something you don't absolutely love." She was right. She usually is.

So...I decided to sit with myself and really think about what I wanted. I want a PhD but I want it in something I LOVE. I love learning. It's my thing that keeps me upright. It makes me flex myself in ways that are sometimes uncomfortable but also teach me a little more about the world each day. When I think about what "fries my onions"-JS, it's advocating for those who need their voices raised. It about making learning accessible to everyone. It's about living into those areas that are difficult to navigate and using my privilege to raise those who deserve to have the same opportunities. Disability Studies with a focus on Universal Learning Design is where I've landed. So instead of continuing on an education-based PhD I am taking an intro statistics course and ASL I courses at our local community-college (back to my roots!) and I'm rather excited. I will also be studying for the GRE. Oh and still having a baby. I can do both.

This decision feels right. It feels supportive to my goals and my passion. But for reals, the GRE...gross.