Tests

 This week and in the coming couple, our 3 oldest will be taking academic exams to determine their growth. Yesterday our 4th grader brought home a note from her teacher asking us to write a little inspirational note for her to open on the day of her math assessment. First and foremost I'm so grateful to her kind teachers who know their students and know that the days will be filled with anxiety and look for ways to help alleviate those feelings. 

As I was writing the note out I thought back to what I wish my Mom had told me. So I told her 4 things: 

1. This one test, on this one day, isn't a definition of who you are or what you know. It's just that, one thing on one day. We are so proud of who you are, not what you know in one 4 hr period. PERIOD. 

2. Take your time. Almost nothing in life is done better fast. No bonus points for finishing fast. (At least not in academic settings). 

3. You are smart, you are kind, you are important, and nothing else matters. 

4. When the exam is done, it is done. Let it go. 

As a high-achieving, anxiety-ridden child/adult, this letter of encouragement would have meant the world to me. I would have known that my worth didn't rest in the test score. The thing about breaking generational cycles means that you show up and be the person the younger version of you would trust and feel loved by. If nothing else, my kids know that on their best and worst days, I love them and they are worthy. Full stop. 

If you have a kiddo (no matter the age) drop them a line and let them know that you love them. That you're proud of the things they do. And remind them that in the world of uncertainty, you love them big. 

IE Ree, you got this girl. Go do your best and know that Mama is with you, no matter what. Love you Lelery Celery, more than all the wind in West Texas. 

My why

 This month is Occupational Therapy Month. It is supposed to be one in which my colleagues and I are celebrated and we celebrate the profession as a whole. Currently, in the OT world, we are experiencing some turbulent times. There are groups of OTs who are calling for reform and change to the ways OTs are educated, how we view the profession, the direction of our fundamentals, etc. As someone who has run a lot of groups in their life, this is normal. However, it is also creating anxiety through the ranks. And while some discomfort can galvanize people to act, it has to be balanced because if it isn't measured with solutions and willingness to listen more than we speak it creates deep divisions and lines that are often hard to cross and to some extent can create irreparable harm. 

Recently I was talking with different groups of OT colleagues and although it might seem like a fairytale solution, when I am feeling dysregulated I want to revert and ground myself in things I know. The things I know about myself and OT follow (in no particular order of importance): 

1. OTs are purveyors of hope. They see the person as a whole, a perfect being, capable of things and inherently worthy of living life to its fullest possible potential. 

2. OT is flexible and creative. OTs are the Maguyvers of the world. They take and use all of their resources to assist and make things work. 

3. OT has a heart as big as the world. Now, don't get it twisted, other helping professions do as well. There is an emotional connection with the intimate nature of what OT does and it is amazing. 

4. I know, without any shadow of a doubt, occupation brings meaning. Occupation is the stuff that life is made of. Occupations in the human experience happen 24/7 and encompass all of the things we do from our bodily functions to our activities of daily living, work, sleep, mental health, etc. 

5. I have and do love every aspect of my work. Being an OT challenges and rewards me daily. Although I no longer practice full-time, I still practice AND I am so fortunate to be a teacher of OT students. Each of these different perspectives gives me respite from the other and helps me understand the unique needs of each area. 

6. Being an OT has made me a kinder and gentler person while simultaneously creating a fierce desire to advocate and be more just.

I love what I do and I want to learn more. If you are an OT and find yourself in this state of dysregulation, anxiety, anger, or fear, let's talk about it. I'm always interested in hearing and learning from others. I want to have as wide a scope on the state of our profession so that I can advocate for OT to my fullest potential. Communication is the key. Let's chat.  

My heros can't even drive

 If you've known our family for at least the past 6 years you know that this week, leading up to Easter is one that in clergy circles is most affectionately known as Holy Hell Week. This is a nod to sports teams that have intense schedules in prep for the beginning of a season of play. The clergy, are winding down their Lenten practices and services, and programs and are simultaneously prepping for the way to the cross for all of us. It means lots of late nights and early mornings all while fulfilling their familial duties. And clergy families shift and accommodate those long days. And while we signed up for this and know it is coming, we still sometimes hit the struggle bus a little. 

As always I'm so impressed with our kids' ability to be flexible. The older ones hit this week with grace and kindness and help bring the littles along with them. They pitch in and help with things like bath time and story-reading. They will do extra dishes without a lot of whining or complaining cause they know we need the help. And before getting any bees in your bonnets, we do not make them do extra things. They have been raised to understand that when you see anyone struggling you do what you can and know that the same will be done for you. They do it because they are kind. They appreciate their contributions and know that Mom and Dad appreciate all they do. 

As a clergy spouse, you do what you can to keep this side running smoothly. And year to year and even day to day that means different things. I thrive in chaos and the best parts of me come out in these moments and days ahead. And being able to be helpful to my clergy spouse as well as focus on our kids makes me feel good. Additionally, it is great to see your spouse thrive in their work. To watch them live out that dream that your family has helped to come to fruition. To stand with them in the congregation and celebrate the victory of life over death, each year. 

All this to say, be gentle with your pastor and his or her or their families. This week means so much to you and yours and we know that. Know that your clergy has been planning for this week for months. They are truly giving all they have. If you see them out in the community, and maybe they look a little frazzled, they are but they are looking forward to Resurrection Sunday too! 

From our family to yours, we look forward to walking with you as we turn our faces toward the cross and cannot wait to celebrate the miracle that is coming for all of us. Until then, you let us know how we can pray and support you and yours and maybe you throw one up for us too!