After all of the controversy over an NFL kicker's half-baked and out-of-touch commencement speech (I use the term speech loosely), I feel like I needed to weigh in. As a highly educated, half-Latino, mother of 5, wife, and general all-around kind of awesome woman I am astonished that a university (albeit a very conservative religiously based one) would give someone that kind of platform in 2024. All I will say is bless his heart.
I am the first college graduate in my family. One of a handful of high school graduates. The first to get a masters, a second masters, a doctorate, and the first to get close to a PhD. I am the product of the same conservative religiously based education as the person in question. Not once, from that tiny school was I told that a woman's primary vocation was as a wife and mother. I was told that women were capable of being whatever they wanted. Yes, being a mother was encouraged but it was never the only or preferred option. While I was discouraged from going to college, that was because the small-minded "guidance counselor" felt my subpar high school performance (undiagnosed ADHD and little interest in educational opportunities that were too easy so I didn't try) which were high B's and A's meant college "wasn't for me." As I've said before, with all the disrespect in my body, you were wrong. So very wrong. But that's for another post. I am currently an associate professor at an R1 university. I've worked at one of the top university systems for my profession in THE ENTIRE COUNTRY. I've presented and been accepted at our profession's largest and most prestigious conferences. I have been in academic leadership. I am in a leadership position for my state professional association. I've served and currently serve for our accrediting and certification bodies. I've led therapy departments. I've checked a bunch of boxes professionally.
From a personal perspective, I've been a wife and mother for over a decade. I've helped raise 5 kids. Homeschooled through a pandemic. Supported my spouse while he attended graduate school twice (now about to commence a third time, and he has done the same for me!). I've kept a home. Changed diapers, fed children, helped with homework, cheered at soccer games and theater performances, mended clothes, prayed over them nightly, took them to church, etc., etc., etc. I've done all the things a wife and mother does.
I've lived these two parallel lives. Has it always been easy? NOPE. But has it been worth it to do both, unequivocally, YES. I would do all of it again. Hands down. I wish we had more support for families of all kinds. People were meant to live communally. But again, that is for another day. Support for all humans isn't a hard concept.
For that subpar kicker, stay in your lane. Recognize your privilege. Realize that your vision for "women" and their vocations is like a butthole. Everyone has one and no one should comment on anyone's but their own. Meanwhile, should I ever see you, I'll be sure to introduce myself and let you know exactly where you went wrong. And you can call me by my formal title, Dr. Jerilyn Callen. Oh, and I'll be praying for you.
