Hello G-d, it's me...

Will Smith said, during a TedTalk'esque conference, that "God has placed the best things on the other side of your maximum fear." These words have been tucked away in my mind for several years now. Every time I begin to let the fear creep in I try to remember this quote. I think it resonates best with me because it is two-fold. The first part, God has placed this wonderful thing, that they know you are 100% capable of reaching and is something that will be wonderful and good for you. I feel like God does truly want wonderful and good things for their children. I also feel like most good parents, God wants us to not simply always achieve things without learning lessons along the way. The second part, the fear piece, it is vital sometimes. Most of the most valuable things I have received in this life have come through long, hard, work. My children took 9 months (or more?!?!?!) to come earthside. My husband, I met him when I was 27 years old, and after a very difficult first marriage. My education, that goes without much explanation. All of life has been learning to trust in the process. Learning to lean into fear. Learning to understand that this world is not always meant to be without strife or difficulty but to continue walking, look for help, rest, and continue on. 

This journey of discernment and seminary has been the next iteration of that good thing and work cycle. Yes, the VIT attended classes, did his own very rigorous discernment, and made those commitments. Guess what, so did his family. We choose this for ourselves too (well the PKIT's kinda followed but we've tried to give them space to express their concerns/fear/joy too). We have discerned how to live this life in support of the VIT. We have survived GOE's. We survived holidays that have changed because "Daddy's job is at the church". We have learned a new normal. We have learned how to move far away and learned to make new friends and how to rely on each other. It's been good lessons for all of us. We are so proud of the VIT. We are happy we moved to Austin. 1.034 days. 1 more PKIT. 1 MDiv. A couple of clergy collars. And memories and friends that will prayerfully last a lifetime. 

This life is a strange dichotomy of balance. We balance our family needs with those of the church. We learn how to let people in. We learn how to rely upon and live as part of a community of faith. We have learned how to change and grow. We will continue all of those things. We are on the verge of another cycle of change and work.

Thank you, friends. As the first of us disperse, know that we miss you terribly already. We love you and although we are rivers and roads, know that we think of you by day and pray for you by night. Be well and stay safe. Wash your hands and say your prayers cause germs and Jesus are everywhere! Till we are brought all together again, we send you along with love and blessings. 

Blessings and light. Dr. Mrs. Vicarage