If you ask the VIT he will say that one of my most used phrases is "spicy disaster." Folks, we are in a spicy disaster right this very moment. Most of us are still playing it cool, casually stocking up on what we need, going about our days with kids at home on spring break, and trying not to have the freak out that we know is coming.
Some of us are still reporting to a physical work address and are planning for the time when we might not be able to 'go into work' but will be trying to manage all of our responsibilities along with our health from home. We can feel the anxiety building but, for the moment, we are managing. We are checking on our vulnerable family members and trying to remember that we have some power at this moment. Maybe that power is to protect our most vulnerable community members by staying inside the house. Staying at home to binge watch Netflix, do laundry, pack, or do some sort of craft to pass the time.
Some of us are managing all this but the bubble keeps getting bigger and bigger and sooner rather than later will burst. We will have that freakout, we will cry, and be angry. We will show a side of panic and unrest that we have so diligently been covering up and burying down so as to not freak out our kids, our students, our parents, our partners, etc. We will show our humanity and where we go in times of great stress.
I cried all the way to the store yesterday. I cried all the way home. I did this for a multitude of reasons. One, because the stress bubble was teetering on poping and if I'm gonna have a moment, I want to insulate my kids from that. They can feel my tension but they can also feel my peace when I reassure them that we are all doing what we think is best to keep others safe as well as ourselves. We are doing all we can to show them how to react to crisis and pressure. They get the temperature of the world from us.
I will continue to do what needs doing. I feel a pang of incredible guilt for coming to my campus to do my work when I know my healthcare siblings are facing immense pressure. And I've said it a lot but if things begin falling down, you have my word, I will dig out those scrubs and go where needed. I promise you that. That oath I took as an OT, it still holds true. You all need to jump, I'll be there holding your hand and we can jump together. For now, at least, I am going to throw all in and try to prep the next wave of therapists so they can be prepared cause let's face it, they will likely see another of these pandemics in their life/career time. I promise you we are doing our best.
A dear friend said, " The healthcare professional army is strong and resilient, you are shaping those to come and it will be very important for you to educate them and help them understand how to deal with a time like this because another may come in their lifetime and their careers. They have a golden opportunity to learn from it and be better for it." So when I get to feeling bad about not being on the clinical floors, I remember this.
I love y'all. And when I say y'all I mean all y'all. Stay safe. Wash your damn hands. Love one another (from appropriate distances!). We will get through this. #stayhome #savelives #OTs
