The Support System

When you are a parent you undergo a ton of life changes. Most of them are so good. They bring small humans that bring out the best in you and your partner. They bring cuddles and love that you cannot describe without getting teary. They bring moments that are seared into your memory. They bring you and your partner together in an intimate way that you could never imagine possible. When your wee ones grow you are constantly in a state of teaching and letting go. You walk daily towards this weird and invisible horizon of being "done" with parenting. The closer you walk, the more you realize that the horizon is infinite. Your objectives change but the job is one that you never fully retire from. 

During this time you are also, often, someone else's partner. You may also be working towards your own personal goals. You find yourself in the weeds. Parenting weeds, personal weeds, professional weeds, and man, they can get deep. You settle in to the flow of life and sometimes the days are endless and the nights go quickly. You'll look around and realize that your kids are huge. Your partner is older. You may or may not have your s%$t together. All of this is normal and okay. 

Sometimes you get to close on a lifelong dream. You get to finish a goal. It's those moments that make all the other crap less stressful. You get to celebrate with your people. You get to see your husband get teary when you hug your kids because they made their newly minted Dr. Mama a card. Sometimes you realize that you are enough. You are a freaking warrior. You get to focus on giving back the support that all those around you so unselfishly gave. You get to look at your mom, your grandma, your girls, your colleagues, and revel with them in your accomplishment. Part of this accomplishment belongs to everyone that supported you through this. 

The day will come that you get to be the support. It will feel better than when you received it, why? Because you get to see both sides of that support and know that soon that person will get to revel in their success. So when you get that chance, always do it. Maybe it's a trip to the grocery store for your friend who is studying for a final. Maybe it's putting the kids to bed every night for months on end so that your partner can write or sleep. Maybe it's understanding that time spent reading, writing, and revising is so hard for the person doing it too. Maybe it's sending them a card when they least expect it. 

For all of those who helped me through these last 2 years. From Bryan and BEND, my mom, my grandma, Natalie, coworkers, friends, neighbors, everyone who wished me well and wanted good things, THANK YOU! Part of this belongs to you. Tonight as I sit down to a child-less dinner (because lets be real, sometimes you need a dinner without the wee ones) to celebrate being "done" with my degree know that I am toasting you! We did it. And if and when the time comes for you, I got your back. You can do this!