A New Year, Get.It.Done.

 Back in the summer of 2019, I stopped my Ph.D. Although it was something I desperately wanted, life was too hard. I was juggling an unexpected pregnancy, being in administration, and raising kids while being a supportive spouse. Simultaneously, the Curate was still a VIT and finishing up CPE and heading into his last year of seminary. It was all just TOO MUCH (in every sense of that phrase). For the first time in my life, I didn't finish something I'd started. However, when I disenrolled, I felt such peace. It was the right decision. It probably saved my sanity and gave me a much-needed couple of inches to breathe. 

After the birth of PK 5.0 and the resulting trauma, I was even more convinced that maybe a terminal degree wasn't for me. Maybe what I had was plenty good. Life continued. Covid hit, and bam, lots of turmoil again. Lost job opportunities for the Curate and I both and no solid plan until very late that summer gave me pause to think about the future of my career and what I needed to do. The inklings of returning to school began to surface again. Did I want to pick up my Ph.D.? Was a Ph.D. what I really wanted? When I looked at the differences, compared programs, and did a lot of private and close circle discernment, I realized, just before Christmas (the one that just passed!), that I was ready to move back into school, but this time, to get an Ed.D. I'll still have a very similar focus, but it will be more directed towards curriculum development with a leadership side. I want to know that I finished this. Not because it will necessarily make me more money, but because at the end of the day, having this terminal degree will be the internal accomplishment of a lifetime of learning. 

I'm so fortunate to have a spouse and kids who understand and support learning. They know it will come at the expense of time sometimes, and they support that. They love to learn, and maybe some of that comes from parents who they've grown up seeing learn and continue to develop. So, on the road of student/teacher/mom/wife/friend again. It won't be easy, but after the shit show of 2020, no matter how rocky this gets, I know #WeCanDoHardThings.