Most people who might read this know by now that we are expecting another child in November. To say this came as a shock, that would be an understatement. We are overwhelmed and will meet this new child with waves of love and welcoming but it is also a shift in the direction that we envisioned for our life. And both of those feelings are ok.
What many people do not know is that in the grand scheme of my life and season as a mother I am also a mother to children who never made it to this side of earth. Those losses are ones that are deeply felt, everyday. Some days I look at our already full table and realize there are faces that are missing. Little bodies that should be adding to our chaos. Little arms to wrap around my neck when I return at the end of the day. A few more stockings that should be placed on our mantle at Christmas time. Thoughts that are never far from my thoughts and never leave my heart.
As we wait for this teeny human to continue grow and develop we do so with hope and fear, and a healthy understanding that nothing is guaranteed. And that, God willing, a new teeny Callen will enter our lives on or about middle of November. And when they do, they shall be ushered by our children that we will meet someday when we return to whom made us. They will be handed over to our care by our family that has gone before us. Until then, we will wait, we will pray, and we will continue to love what we have and what we have lost. Because, at the end of the day, that is what we have. Our lives are measured by the love we give.
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