Love

 My grandmother was one of the most interesting people I ever met. She was the type to bring you in, feed you with wisdom, humor, and when needed a stern "come to Jesus" discussion. She was strong and vulnerable. She made a lot out of very meager beginnings and did the best she knew how. As a mother, she triumphed and failed but she loved with all her being. She was an abundant giver. 

As a child, she was the one who hung the moon and stars. She made miracles happen, sometimes on a daily basis. She made a world that was unfair, cruel, and very harsh for a small child, a place of love and softness. She made a child who felt rejected by her mother feel loved unconditionally. Somehow she managed to love that mother who rejected her child as well...maybe that is the unconditional love we believe all mothers have? My grandmother balanced the tumultuous relationships in her life with as much grace as I've seen. She taught me how to love, even when that love was challenging. 

 Patricia was a woman who became a mother when she was just a child. She faced the stigma of being unmarried with a baby in the late 1950's. She was sent away from her home and her family to have the baby who was supposed to be given up for adoption. A hesitant "last visit" with her child ended with her traveling back to her hometown with that child in tow. She was shamed. Nevertheless, she persevered. She would go on to marry and have 2 more children. She weathered being a military wife in the time of Vietnam. She further weathered the return of her husband who was indelibly changed from his time there. Additionally, she dealt with situations that remain private matters but ones that many of us would find unbearable. Patty became a paralegal and ran a successful business until she retired. She raised me and instilled many values and a work ethic that have served me well. Patricia was the mother we all deserve. I miss her every day. 

At the end of her life, we were separated and although we had difficulties, I am positive she knew my love and I knew her. I was thankful her suffering was ended and I'm certain she will rise in glory. Her memory is a blessing. With every Christmas ornament, snowglobe, and hymn I hear, she is with me. I lean into her love and teaching when things are difficult and when things are joyous. I know she was far from perfect but her love for me was perfect. I strive to love my children in the same way. I hope when they reflect on my life and their lives with me, they will say that I loved them enough and well.