Your birth was scary and beautiful. I thought that over the past three years I had dealt with and moved beyond the trauma of that afternoon but just the other day it came rushing back. With all of your siblings I never really worried or thought about dying. Of course, we had the discussion about the "what ifs" but they were just discussions. On October 24th, 2019 those discussions quickly became potentially real. I distinctly remember being alone with nurses in the OR as they were rushing to get me prepped and knowing in my heart that I was ready to give my all, up to and including my own death to ensure you made it earthside. I wish I could remember the very short but determined nurse whose arm I grabbed and told "if it's him or me, let me go, I'm ready." I meant every single word of that. She squeezed my arm as they stretched it out and strapped it down and said, "No one is dying today." Before I knew it my grey baby was shown to me for a split second and I remember saying out loud "Harrison Manuel Callen you are marked as Christ's own forever in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." Everyone seemed to slow down and listen. Then your Dad came in and turned around and headed down the hall. The rest was a bit of a blur and soon I was in a recovery room with your Aunt Lacey. She certainly didn't sign up for this task but I'll be forever grateful she was there.
You have grown and are the sunshine of our family. I think even though your siblings don't know the specifics of how you made your way earthside they instinctively know that your being here is a gift. We have been counting down the days to your 3rd birthday and they are your biggest fans. You love your mama and daddy more than I thought anyone could. You are our sweetest gift from Daddy's time in seminary. You are a big ham and I love that you get your humor and timing from me. We have the same eye shape and nose. You have your dad's eyes. They are the prettiest pools of blue.
So my little love, explore and play. Be sad, be happy, be exuberant, be soulful, be all of the things. Run and play. Sleep and rest. Keep giving your sisters hugs that are far stronger than a 3-year-old should. Give your mama a Gig Em every day. Keep being your Daddy's biggest fan. We love you, little dude. Let's go see what the world holds for you because if I know anything, I know you are meant for some special purpose and I have a sneaking suspicion you know that too.
Happy Birthday, Harrison Manuel!
Love,
Mama
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